Playing by the book

Dear Reader,

Hi! Did you know that the FM had tied up the state of the Indian economy sub-consciously to the performance of the Indian cricket team in WC T2o? 😛

Well, here’s the relationship between fiscal deficits and cricket! The piece appeared today in “Tweakonomics,” a column on econ-humour I write for the Hindu Business Line. You can read it at http://www.thehindubusinessline.com/opinion/columns/playing-by-the-book/article8429549.ece, else read it here directly.

Enjoy! And do send in a comment or two!

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Fiscal targets and Indian cricket

Many an eye was left wet and leaking in that last over of the India-West Indies semi final, as the six hit off-Kohli rocketed into the stands. Chartered Accountants, many of whom had created internal deadlines of 6 p.m. on March 31 just so that they could watch the match were particularly indignant about the whole thing and were left vengefully thinking how cricketers could possibly be taxed more.

But no eye watered and no nose sniffed harder than that of the FM, who had somehow tied up the state of the economy with the fortunes of the Indian cricket team in T20s.

The FM too had cricketing aspirations, when a young wisp of a boy. However, as the years passed, the bye-laws began beckoning more sharply than the leg-byes, after which he decided to give a bye to that leg of the aspiration.

The many fascinations of allocation, distribution and stabilisation functions of the fiscal policy overtook those passions of batting, bowling and fielding. The classical version that Tendulkar played seemed almost “normative”; how cricket ought to be. It was rapidly getting replaced by “positive” cricket; higher speed, higher octane T20 cricket with crazy looking shots getting titled the Pallu shot and the Helicopter shot. Cricket, in which what ought to be, got replaced by what is.

Rather like the changes which happened to the NDA in the political arena. After a few years spent in taking interesting jibes at how governments ought to function and budgets ought to be, here was the NDA, now being asked to perform the helicopter shot. That the PM took this literally is another ball-game. And the FM found himself talking to the media not about how the budget ought to be, but about what it actually is.

And he made his pitch, like Captain Cool. As Team India strode as favourites into the World Cup T20 series, the FM felt his spirits rise. Yes, we shall deliver as promised! The UPA may well raise its delicate eyebrows, but fiscal deficit will be contained at 3.9 per cent!

To be defeated by 47 runs by New Zealand was such a shocker; no one had expected NZ to exhibit such form! The FM’s tummy churned unpleasantly. The last he’d felt so stunned was when RaGa had demanded a cap on taxes to get the GST passed.

With that Bill not getting through, the taxes wouldn’t show the expected buoyancy in the next fiscal; but the boys were back in the field laden with the expectations that only an India-Pak match can bring on, looking as buoyant as ever. And what a win! The emotional high of the moment could only bring on fond memories of the HR Minister decimating a cowering Opposition with tears and a voice shaking with high drama. We will not only do a 3.9 per cent fiscal deficit this year, we’ll also do a 2 per cent next year, thought the FM, high on positivity.

And to see Virat Kohli take on the Aussies was to believe that we’ll deliver a balanced budget next year! Zero per cent fiscal deficit target; ha, take that, you disbelievers!

Against WI, Virat and Dhoni’s batting was like watching the markets rise. Chris Gayle fell, as will the repo next month. But what’s this? How could we lose? By 7 wickets! The FM’s hand shook as he took a call from the CSO. “Sir, even if Kohl sector is up, we’ve real bad news. Fiscal target looks difficult because we’ve overspent.” The FM sighed. We’ve overspent by 7 per cent.

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